it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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