You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
