Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
