found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
and she was petting her beer can
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
it's like iHOP with fire
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize