I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
