Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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