You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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