That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
