She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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