i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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