Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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