Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
