i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
