"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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