I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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