No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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