btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
