He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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