I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
