I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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