I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
