hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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