Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
