Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
