Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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