carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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