Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
