love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize