He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize