I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
