Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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