I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
