did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
