We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
