found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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