Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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