He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize