love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
