When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
