Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
only if we run a train.
done.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
BRING THE BAGELS
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
