Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
