kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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