I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
