I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
