Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize