On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
