You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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