You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize