Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
