maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
