Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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