she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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