I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
