you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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