can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
