Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
