so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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