no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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