But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
