How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
