Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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