let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
