ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
