well you can't waste a boner
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
