what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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