just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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