just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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