On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
