dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
