this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he shaved USA in his pubs
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
