I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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