fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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