I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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