You're a womanizer and a bitch.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
