Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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