do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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