Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
