He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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