i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He felt like a one man threesome
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
