It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
