He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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