Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize