Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
ok first of all what the fuck
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
