Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
