Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
