This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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